lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Randomize
