I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
