it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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