they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
