His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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