Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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