she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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