why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
