Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
