you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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