I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
