bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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