those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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