it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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