I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
