She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize