i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
