Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
