Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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