...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
