I'm lost and stupid without you.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
