I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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