he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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