So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
