adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
