I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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