i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
