need another drink. this is the easiest way
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
