What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize