I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
