guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
