I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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