Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
