For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
