Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
