You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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