Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
