I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
