What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
