She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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