Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
