I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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