If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
