I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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