its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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