Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize