She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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