I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I didn't notice because vodka
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize