I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize