drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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