Kareoke will never be a sober sport
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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