I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
