ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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