i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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