the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
it's like heaven, but drunker
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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