i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize