Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
