If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
