talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
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He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So many bounce houses so little time
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize