does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
