just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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