Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
