I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
