Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
