I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
