Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
