did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
