..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
