Nicole vs. Life
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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