Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
