just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
